Saturday, March 16, 2019
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Stop asking 'how are you?' Harvard researchers say this is what successful people do when making small talk says Gary Burnison in a CNBC interview (CNBC.com)
By asking inane questions like “how are you” or “what do you do” is a lost opportunity and meaningless exchange with zero connection.
So what are some tactics to help you to be perceived as a charismatic and interesting person?
Here are six tactics to having a meaningful conversation:
1. Use the A.C.T. trick
Starting with small talk is key
- A - Be authentic
- C - Connect - start with something you have in common
- T - Topic that will give a taste of you
2. Be in the moment and observe your surroundings - do your homework
Open your eyes before you open your mouth.
Find something to focus on in your surroundings
At an exhibition, ask what their favorite painting was.
Ask about someone’s hat, shoes or jewelry that they are wearing - it sometimes makes a statement about the person
In a person’s office - ask about the piece of art on the wall, a quirky gadget or family picture on their desk, There's bound to be something that will spark small talk and help lead the conversation into unique follow-up questions.
"Open your eyes before you open your mouth."
-Gary Burnison, CEO, Korn Ferry
Let's say you're talking to the CEO of a large, iconic company who is about to retire, and you noticed a row of empty boxes along the wall of the CEO's office. You might start with the question,
"How hard is it for you to leave this job?"
When going to a forum, do your research on the people in the room and find out their passions
This will lead to a much deeper and more emotionally revealing discussion, and it never would've happened had you not noticed those boxes.
3. Share some news (that actually happened)
At our BBG forums, we go around the room and ask each person to say one interesting thing that recently happened in their lives.
If you have "news," share it: "my baby had a baby" or "My baby took her first step!"
If you are meeting someone - share something meaningful that happened to you .
People actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company.
As a result of that momentary sharing, you've allowed everyone to feel more personally and genuinely connected with each other.
The key is to be genuine
4. It's not just what you say
No matter what or how much you say, your tone of voice, facial expression and eye contact will broadcast so much more.
In person, look at the other person when you speak, not at the conference table or the wall.
On the phone, smile — it will make your voice sound warmer.
It's not just what you say, but how you say it, that will help others connect with you.
People love to talk about themselves, so be a great listener
Ask leading questions - and LISTEN
Be present during the conversation.
Focus on the other person
Show that you care
Ask leading questions
- Listen 2 ears one mouth
- In the moment /interesting
- Small talk - have something interesting to say that’s relevant and engaging
- Empathy - put yourself in the other person’s shoes
- Names - remember persons name - make them feel they are important
Introduce people with ease, making them feel important.
Be sure to remember names
In addition to announcing names, offer a piece of information about each person, or a shared interest, thereby facilitating a conversation.
Thursday, March 7, 2019
“Be a lady and be independent”- Ruth Bader Ginsberg - USA Supreme Court Judge
“You get out of this world what you put into it - work hard, maintain a positive attitude and contribute to your community” - Kim Mckay - CEO Australia Museum
“Don’t be afraid to put up your hand and give it a go -it’s ok if you get it wrong - as long as you learn” - Gladys Berejklian - Premier NSW
“Never stop fighting for what you believe in
Know your worth - don’t let others determine it “ - Jane Palfreyman - publisher Allen and Unwin
“Be Determined and have a sense of Justice” Deborah Cheetham - Aboriginal Australian Soprano
“Bring your best game” - Kym Elphinstone - MD Articulate PR
“Take a cardigan - be practical and safe - don’t worry to much how you look “ - Tanya Pilbersek - Member for Sydney
“You can succeed at anything - picture your competition getting out of bed in the morning in their PJs”- Carolyn McNally / secretary Dept of Planning and environment
“Tackle issues with fortitude and integrity “ - Clover Moore - Lord Mayor Sydney City Council
“Your unique beauty is found in your imperfections - grow in our flaws - and our humanity and our empathy in our vulnerabilities” -Monica Barone - CEO - City Of Sydney
“Stand up straight” - Louise Herron - CEO of Opera House
“Follow your passion - don’t worry what others think”- Elizabeth Anne Macgregor Director Of Museum Of Contemporary Art (MCA)
“Be confident - don’t self doubt - feel safe
Just do it - don’t procrastinate” - Ronni Kahn - CEO of Ozharvest
“Be thoughtful , take your time , identify options - the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese” Jenny Allum - head of SCEGGS
“Do what you love - don’t be forced into doing something that does not fit with what your passion is - know your truth” - Maud Page - Art Gallery Of NSW
“Be economically independent, be brave , ignore the sceptics, work hard and don’t take no for an answer” - Emma Dunch - CEO Sydney Symphony Orchestra
“Be confident - don’t self doubt - mentor others”- Edwina Throsby - head of Talks and Ideas - Sydney Opera House
“Live a life beyond what you thought possible - don’t be bound by others rules - make your own decisions - don’t worry what others think”- Leanne Polkinghorn - president of Real Estate Institute Of NSW
“Move with the changes - however disconcerting - change is constant - if the rate of change on the outside is greater than the rate of change on the inside - the end is near” - Megan Davis - vice Chancellor UNSW
My all time favourite
“Travelled to every continent , learned a new language at the age of 70, Waved to road crews , flirted with bus drivers , asked a bikie about their embroidery on their jacket - was indomitable! “ Briony Scott about her Mum who lived her dream
- when long departed staff call you to wish you well in your new venture;
- when clients that have been loyal for 22 years tell you that they love your work and makes a referral
- when long departed staff members write to thank you for helping them grow their careers;
- when former colleagues unexpectedly walk in with flowers to wish you well in your new venture;
- when a colleague makes you a warm referral - because the know like and trust you
- when new acquaintances drop everything to rush over and fix an IT problem for you
- when a stranger you meet randomly introduces you to an amazing opportunity
Google launched an initiative called Project Aristotle two years ago wanting to know why some teams excelled while others fell behind.
Why Project Aristotle ? It was he that proved that
"The whole can be greater than the sum of its parts."
They studied 180 Google teams, conduct 200-plus interviews, and analyze over 250 different team attributes to come up with a clear pattern of characteristics that could be plugged into a dream-team generating algorithm.
Do the best teams mean that you have to have the brightest and the best?
It makes sense. The best engineer plus an MBA, throw in a PhD, and there you have it.
The perfect team, right?
Julia Rozovsky, Google's people analytics manager - "We were dead wrong."
So what were the perfect mixture of skills, backgrounds, and traits of rockstar teams,
It wasn’t until Google started considering some intangibles that things began to fall into place.
Group norms was a key
"As they struggled to figure out what made a team successful, Rozovsky and her colleagues kept coming across research by psychologists and sociologists that focused on what are known as "group norms" - the traditions, behavioral standards, and unwritten rules that govern how teams function when they gather... Norms can be unspoken or openly acknowledged, but their influence is often profound."
With a new lens and some added direction from a research on collective intelligence (abilities that emerge out of collaboration) by a group of psychologists from Carnegie Mellon, MIT, and Union College, Project Aristotle's researchers went back to the drawing board to comb their data for unspoken customs. Specifically, any team behaviors that magnified the collective intelligence of the group.
Rozovsky outlined the five key characteristics of dream teams.
Team members get things done on time and meet expectations.
2. Structure and clarity.
High-performing teams have clear goals, and have well-defined roles within the group.
The work has personal significance to each member.
The group believes their work is purposeful and positively impacts the greater good.
Yes, that's four, not five. The last one stood out from the rest:
5. Psychological Safety.
We've all been in meetings and, due to the fear of seeming incompetent, have held back questions or ideas. I get it. It's unnerving to feel like you're in an environment where everything you do or say is under a microscope.
But imagine a different setting. A situation in which everyone is safe to take risks, voice their opinions, and ask judgment-free questions. A culture where managers provide air cover and create safe zones so employees can let down their guard. That's psychological safety.
Google found that teams with psychologically safe environments had employees who were less likely to leave, more likely to harness the power of diversity, and ultimately, who were more successful.
- Who would be the 10 people in your dream team?
- People that you could trust and feel safe with?
- Has your product got clarity?
- Does it have meaning or a purpose?